Break the MidLife Mold
5 Ways to Create a MidLife “Makeover”
No wonder it’s so hard to keep a pep in your step through the midlife journey when you carry the baggage of stereotypes, outdated beliefs, and preconceived notions. This negative weight can limit not only our approach but also the benefit of this transformative phase. Here are a few common misconceptions about midlifers:
Career Plateau: It is often assumed that midlife professionals have reached the top of their careers and are coasting toward retirement.
Invisibility: There is a belief that people in midlife become invisible or less relevant in society.
Fixed Identity: The stereotype that your personality and interests are set in stone by midlife.
Lack of Adventure: The idea that midlife is a time to settle into routine and avoid risks.
Let’s take a closer look at the invisibility belief. According to recent research, “Given the decrease in the number of children being born and the increasing number of older people, middle-aged adults are more relevant than ever before as a significant resource for families and society.”¹
The truth is the unpredictable nature of midlife can test our resiliency, but it doesn’t need to be a time for fading into the background. Midlife can also be a peak time in many areas, including earnings, position at work, leadership in the family, decision-making abilities, self-confidence, and contributions to the community.²
In addition, midlife social, health, and lifestyle activities foreshadow many old age outcomes. To the extent that middle-aged adults are successful and productive, then their families and society as a whole will be the beneficiaries.³
So before you resign yourself to sitting in a rocking chair, knitting your way through endless reruns of your favorite TV show, please consider the possibility that your midlife has more to offer. With courage and curiosity, you can refresh your midlife experience and say goodbye to those limiting midlife assumptions.
Hang on, midlife, you're about to get a makeover (internally speaking).
5 Ways to Create a MidLife “Makeover”
1. Success on Your Terms
Midlife is a time to pause and re-evaluate your values and priorities. Ask yourself, what activities or pursuits make you feel most fulfilled today? “Today” is the key word because it is very likely what fills your cup today differs from where you were at the start of your career, marriage, or parenting experience.
Set goals for each area once you identify what you value (i.e., simplicity, integrity, freedom, etc) and desires (i.e., adventure, personal growth, more time for family, etc.). Remember, your goals are for you and about you! Midlife is a time to release the burden of trying to meet others’ expectations.
Give yourself the freedom to adjust your goals and priorities as your interests and needs evolve. Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth and celebrate every win.
Success on your terms isn’t about discarding past achievements; it’s about deciding how to measure progress today and reconnecting to any lost desires. Midlife success is about prioritizing your values and allowing them to be your true guideposts of success.
2. Connect with Meaning
Midlife brings a keen awareness of the value of time, and we become more selective about how we want to spend our time and energy. This heightened awareness often shifts how we experience our relationships, and we begin to choose quality over quantity.
Take the time to evaluate your relationships. You may feel drawn to mend bonds that have frayed over the years and strengthen the ones that have weathered life’s storms. Reflect on which relationships bring you joy, support, and a sense of comfort. Prioritize those relationships that align with your midlife values and contribute positively to your well-being.
Once you have prioritized your relationships, it is time to nurture them. Communication is a key element. Make an effort to have meaningful conversations by sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with honesty and vulnerability. You’ve reached that time in life where there isn’t any point in holding back.
Meaningful relationships are often built on shared experiences and memories. Plan activities, events, or trips with your loved ones. These shared moments deepen your connection, provide a sense of fulfillment and joy, and add to the richness of your midlife experience.
3. Appreciate the Layers
Midlife is a time to see ourselves through a new lens. It’s natural to be self-critical during this stage as we reflect on past choices and consider the road ahead. Yet, within this self-examination, there lies a chance to practice self-compassion. This is a time to treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a dear friend.
Set time aside to reflect on your experiences, choices, and lessons learned (allow your thoughts to flow without judgment). This practice helps you to appreciate the layers that have shaped you — the moments that brought laughter, the hurdles that tested your resilience, and the decisions that led you to where you are now.
By acknowledging and embracing these layers, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your journey and a sense of gratitude for every step of your life. This gentleness towards yourself provides space to remember you are always doing the best you can.
The person you are today is a testament to your courage and the power of becoming. As you continue your pursuit of self-discovery and fulfillment, remember to cherish everything that makes you you!
4. Embrace Exploration
In our quest to “get it right,” we often miss the joy of exploration. Midlife gifts us the freedom to take a new direction. It is a time to welcome the unfamiliar and trust you will discover the real treasures just beyond the edge of your comfort zone.
Start by listing the things that spark some curiosity or sense of passion. Ask yourself what activities or hobbies you have always wanted to explore but never had or took the chance to explore. What childhood dreams are still waiting to be fulfilled?
Once you’ve identified your interests, set specific goals and create a plan to achieve them. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. A clear plan can help with motivation and accountability as you begin to explore.
Keep in mind exploration at midlife isn’t about achieving a specific outcome; it’s about appreciating the joy of learning and growing.
5. Living in Wisdom
By midlife, we realize having it all figured out may be an elusive fantasy. That person staring back at you in the mirror understands that life can pull you in countless directions, but living mindfully can ground you in the present moment.
Choose one mindfulness practice (i.e., meditation, deep breathing, or even mindful walking) and engage in it regularly. Make the initial commitment one you can sustain easily and gradually increase the frequency as the habit gains traction. Following each mindfulness exercise, take some time to journal about any newfound insights.
By bringing your awareness to the here and now, you create a space for clarity and insight to arise. In those moments, you can untangle the threads of confusion and gain a clearer perspective on your path forward.
Consistently connecting to your inner wisdom creates the foundation for confidently guiding your midlife choices.
Summary: Break the MidLife Mold
Certainly, the baggage of stereotypes and preconceived notions can cast a dark cloud over our midlife journey, and the common misconceptions can be stifling if we allow them to define our experience. However, the reality can be far more liberating and full of possibilities and potential. With courage and curiosity, you can break free from the midlife mold.
Midlife doesn’t have to be a plateau — it can be a catalyst for transformation. A Midlife makeover isn’t about erasing your past or starting over — it’s about celebrating your journey, acknowledging your growth, and choosing to evolve with intention.
Moving forward, keep an eye out for moments of:
success
connection
appreciation
exploration
wisdom
Moving forward, you can connect to your midlife identity and spirit free from illusion or expectation of perfection. During this journey of self-discovery, recognize this as an opportunity to embrace the messiness, the laughter, the tears, and the uncertainty that midlife brings.
As we end and you contemplate your next step, please remember to Make your MidLife Matter!
References
¹ Infurna FJ, Gerstorf D, Lachman ME. Midlife in the 2020s: Opportunities and challenges. Am Psychol. 2020 May-Jun;75(4):470-485. doi: 10.1037/amp0000591. PMID: 32378943; PMCID: PMC7347230.
² ³ Lachman ME, Teshale S, & Agrigoroaei S. (2015). Midlife as a pivotal period in the life course: Balancing growth and decline at the crossroads of youth and old age. IJBD, 39, 20–31.
